Challenges and Frustration lead to Victories…if you overcome them
What I thought was gonna frustrate me and leave me without progress, just simply frustration…not only made me stronger, but gave me another boost in confidence.
Confidence in composing that is. But also as a person.
I received a lesson assignment last week that totally tripped me up. When I originally got it I came up with a piece of music that I immediately loved. Then I gave it a name and told people about it.
Until I realized I wasn’t following the guidelines. The guidelines are there to gauge progress. My teacher puts them there to gauge whether or not I understand the material. Whether or not I am moving forward with my composing skills.
The fact is that my mind felt challenged, I felt frustrated and didn’t understand the material right away. This did a few things to me. It made me want to forget about the assignment and just say that I didn’t understand it (the easy way out).
THE RIGHT WAY
I was gonna do it too (leave it) Until 3 am last night when I decided to switch my mind into an empowering mindset and not that negative one I’m so used to.
I walked out the room, took a deep breath, although not that deep at the time, and started to focus on something other than music. Started to work on my art, which I usually do to balance out the musical chaos in my head. Painting, or spray painting in this case, really helps me get out of my head and clear it for the next musical session.
I wanted to go to sleep before all this but I also went into the kitchen and got something to eat, painted and was now ready to tackle the assignment anew.
I did this because I have failed numerous, countless times in the past. In the past, after feeling the way I was feeling, I would just go and relax.
But thats not me today. These days I work on my mind. So much that those empowering mindsets, those speeches I listen to, those motivational and positive quotes I focus on….kicked in at the right time.
But I had to kick them in. See, the thought will come to keep going, to keep persevering.
But then it will go away.
You have to act on it and take it as a sign.
And as a sign I took it.
After I ate something and got away for a minute, I came back with renewed vigor. I attacked this lesson with a fury.
A fury wasn’t enough though.
I botched it up.
Totally botched it up.
So I had to redo it.
And redo it I did.
Took another deep breath and considered leaving it for tomorrow.
But I know.
I know that tomorrow never comes.
Its an illusion.
That negative minds use.
Im a warrior.
And to war I went.
Now I compose with ideas common to the Great Composers.
I kept at it after I botched it up because I had now gotten somewhere. Some of it was good. The cup was half full, not half empty like I would have seen it back in the day. See this mindset thing is every day. Every day you gotta work on it. And when you do you see results, you get rewarded.
I went back and finished the assignment. But again I was still wrong. But it was now starting to sound good.
And then those bombarding thoughts that come in when you’re butt freaken tired attacked once again. “Leave it for tomorrow,” “you’re tired, get some rest,” but I know these are lies. For Ive been lied to before by the same voices and its those same voices that will keep me buried in mediocrity.
I nailed that piece to the wall and oh did it feel gratifying. When my teacher gave me a simple complement, that may not be a big deal to him but is to me,